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Author Name: FreeSALTY 12 Comments
Date Added: July 11, 2004 12:07:47 Average Score: (Needs 2)
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Category: Patriotic Add To Favorites | Text Only
 
WW1 (THE SACRIFICE)
Feathers of red hang low in the sky,



Dawn is approaching, is it my time to die?



Lying here half submerged in water,



Can no-one stop this senceless slaughter?







Shattered tree stumps and broken bones,



Terrible screams and constant groans,



Landscapes from the depths of hell



And tales of horror, so hard to tell.







My teeth are chattering with cold and fear,



Awaiting the order to come from the rear.



"Fix bayonets"echoed down through the ranks



And above us the guns and the rumble of tanks.







Then from the Captain,"steady boys"



A reassuring voice amid the noise.



The sound of cannon behind my back



Tells me the time is near to attack.







A whistle sounds and it`s over the top



And to left and right, I watched men drop.



On and on as shells whooshed and roared,



An ever decreasing yelling hoard.







In the bedlam of ear splitting, battering guns,



Each nation sacrificed its sons,



Then suddenly, a blinding FLASH---------------



































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Comments:
Comment By: FreeA.P. on December 22, 2008 03:11:54 AM Report
congrats on an award...great visuals, very real and disturbing, this piece really gets inside the head of someone faced with the fear of battle....great rhythm throughout as well..this poem serves as a good member of the best of the war poets.

Comment By: FreeFilthy on November 12, 2007 07:00:52 PM Report
Congrats on that award Bob, I think there is only one "Tommy" left now, he'd probably know this all to well.

Comment By: FreeLaurel Cummings on April 6, 2006 01:49:16 AM Report
Very well done! Have you perchance read any Wilfred Owen? He might strike your fancy....Dulce et Decorum Est. Congrats on the award!
Comment By: PremiumMary Lou Allen on April 3, 2006 03:30:49 PM Report
Holy cow! This is impressive. This is the part they ignore when they decide the problems can only be handled by going to war. Well done, Salty. Congratulations! You earned that award. ML
Comment By: FreeGlata on April 3, 2006 10:18:08 AM Report
An absolute star of a write, Bob...certainly deserving of this award!
Congrats!
Hugs...
Glata
Comment By: FreeRoger Bacon on April 2, 2006 09:17:22 PM Report
Each great war sets the stage for the next great war. WWI was no different in this regard. A tragic theme but detailed into a capturing write. Congrats on your award.
Comment By: PremiumBlake Hightdudis on August 12, 2004 08:05:46 PM Report
Well written Bob sent shivers up the spine and fear back to soul reading it. You bring a tragic story to life with the picture you paint. Wonderful.
Comment By: FreeSue Tancheff on July 15, 2004 02:29:01 AM Report
Your words painted such a tragic but real picture. I can't begin to imagine what these courageous men went through.

Take care.......Sue
Comment By: FreeKaren Redd on July 12, 2004 07:36:57 AM Report
This is a perfectly written poem that only has one flaw... it's very true. The thought of this going on now - is too much to think of... so I guess that no one does. Life goes on, like we're not even in a war. The thought of what our soldiers go through will rip your heart out. Excellent poem, I will save this. Karen
Comment By: FreeTango on July 12, 2004 03:48:46 AM Report
Oh the futility of war, and the senseless waste of young mens lives.
Very well put.
Tango
Comment By: FreeShe Whispers on July 11, 2004 05:30:43 PM Report
BOB,
THIS REALLY GETS TO THE MIND AND HEART.. GREAT WRITE..LATER SHE
Comment By: Freemangallel on July 11, 2004 12:19:22 PM Report
Sobering and brutal.. Excellent poem Bob




 


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